Why make them in your image?

Why would God and his associates create men in “our image”?  Wouldn’t it be more fun to make some cool creatures like a huge blue caterpillar with each hair a fiber optics thread with a shiny eye on the end, with a pare of hands facing opposite directions, and bunch of feet in the middle, facing opposite directions so it could walk either way, with suction cups on the soles of its feet to walk on walls…

Why make creatures just like yourself, unless you were planning on having intimate relationships with them, or were making them for your team to have intimate relationships with them. He did say “our image” not “my image”, so he wasn’t alone. And later on God's associates or God's sons did mate with human women. Were those son's of God angels? Were they all male? Maybe they traveled a long time in a spaceship and were super desperate for women, so God made humans attractive to the angels on purpose.

Or, could it be, that he could only make what was there already, using only the DNA supplies of animals available to him? Maybe he came to Earth from a distant galaxy, millions of years older than our solar system, to terraform Earth using the DNA he brought with him from his planet.

Could be that he/she was an androgenos being that became a Queen Ant and felt compelled to leave her world to start a new hive, and her angels that followed were like male ants who suddenly grew wings and longed to mate with the Queen? Did they all go chasing God thru the void to earn the right to mate with her/him? Perhaps they caught up with her as she picked Earth as a suitable place for a new hive and lived happily with her in a very plush city called Eden, which they either built or which was their spaceship. The winged angels surrounded God 24-7 and competed with each other for her attention and a chance to mate. Maybe God made humans to be the 'worker ants' and the women to take some of the pressure off her.

Since God mentioned a few times to various priests that he/she wanted a house on Earth in which to live, it is possible that he/she was in an exile, or an escaped  criminal.

 Adam turned out to be most unreliable and untrustworthy gardener, and when, after getting some wisdom, him and the wife realized that they were naked and covered themselves, was a huge bummer. After he kicked Adam and Eve out of Eden, God was terrified that some smart ass human would try to get to his limited supply of eternal youth, which he needed for himself and his angels. He/she moved Eden off Earth and created a worm hole or a matter transporter to it. And to be on the safe side, he/she put some cherubim with flaming swords to guard the Tree of Life that produces the eternal youth stuff.

Supposing, Lucifer - the most handsome and strong of the angels, was God's favorite squeeze, and got to mate with God more than any other angel. So the angels secretly hated him.  And the reason Lucifer talked Eve into taking a bite of the forbidden knowledge was because he couldn’t stand seeing God ogling Adam* all the time through the binoculars. He was jealous. The other angels were jealous too, but Lucifer was the only one who did something.  His mistake was telling the others what he did. They applauded to his face, saying it was a great idea. Lucifer wore a disguise - a snake, but the angels saw the opportunity where there was one - they ganged up against him and tattled on him, so God kicked him out of Eden, directly following Adam and Eve. He didn’t go without a fight, naturally, but the lot of them overpowered him.

Later, when Lucifer settled down on Earth, God would visit him from time to time on the sly, bringing him some elixir of youth from the tree of life.  Openly, back in Eden, she/he would only talk shit about Lucifer, naturally. 

* I think that if God was the Queen Bee, surrounded by male angels, she'd be interested in Adam, not Eve. In fact, God made Adam first, and later added Eve as an afterthought to be his helper.